It’s a sloooow summer in the blog world. Seems like everyone is on vacation. Or maybe everyone is getting their hair/nails/boobs done for BlogHer. This is going to be a lame post. (Surprisingly, my ‘throwaway posts’ don’t attract the crowds that MetroDad’s do.) But this really was one of my lame thoughts today.
Has anyone watched Scott Baio’s new show? I caught part of it and — It. Was. Awesome. He lost his virginity to Joanie! I don’t care if it’s all staged. I hope all the MTV teens who are screwing around look at Scott Baio and get scared into chaste(r) living. He kind of looks the same with that closet-mullet of his, but with wrinkles and some sort of fuzz on his face to proudly announce that he is stuck in the 80s. And not that you have to be married to be happy (I get totally annoyed with those married people who believe that everyone else needs to be married too) but his story is just… well, sad.
Anyway. In order to figure out why Scott Baio is 45 …and Single, he seeks out old girlfriends and asks them for insight. Because apparently he’s too much of an idiot to figure it out himself. Or, VH1 is paying him a shitload of money to let us watch his exes tear him a new one. He needs a life coach to prod him along. So he travels about, asking his exes what the f his problem is. Genius.
Would you ever do this? (I think that I hear a resounding, “Aw, hell to the no,” echoing in my audience of seven out there.)
I used to be friendly with my exes, but as the years passed, we lost touch. I even have a favorite Ex. Yes, G knows this and knows him. In fact, G and I have hung out with him on various occasions. He was invited to our wedding (he couldn’t make it though). And in true friend fashion, he and another good friend went to Scores with me while I searched for my then-fiancé after our bachelor/bachelorette party. I haven’t spoken to Ex for several years, but maybe it’s time to track him down — ask him what the hell my problem is/was. I think his answer would be something along the lines of *You were f’ing CRAZY.*
Then again, maybe I won’t.
I have another ex who is soon to be the subject of a mainstream movie. Yes, weird. Very very weird. I think he hangs out with famous people.
I don’t think I’ll call him either.
Another ex? I don’t think he appreciates my existence much. Actually, by now, he probably doesn’t care one way or another. But definitely a no-go on that lead.
Oh, this is good: One of G’s exes? She’s a s*xpert. Let me elaborate: she is so much of a s*xpert that she is interviewed. For her s*xpertise. G got a message from his friend once that went something like this: “Hey… uh… so I just watched [S*xpert] on [National Morning Show] talking about [something s*x-related].” […long pause…] “Dude. Call me.”
I don’t think I would want G to call his ex either. Because, did I mention…? She’s a s*xpert. And I am not.
I know this is a random post. But c’mon, when else can you say that Scott Baio inspired you? Yeah, I thought so. I had to take advantage.
What would your exes say about you? Spill it.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Inspired by Scott Baio
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21 comments:
Scott Baio??? Oh h-mama. I haven't seen this show. Is it really that odd to be 45 and single anymore?
Can you believe it ... I have no ex's. I don't know what it's like to break up. I went on dates here and there, but nothing that went beyond 2 weeks. So yes, I married my first boyfriend. Is that just too sickening sweet or what.
I have soooo seen this show, and yes, I am disturbingly intending to watch more. Of my own free will. Seriously, what does Scott Baio not understand? You cheat and cheat and cheat, and well, you end up alone and bitter! It's fun to watch this train wreck, isn't it?
As for my ex's? Hmmm... I'd actually love to find the one from high school. Hubby met him ages ago and they got along well - guy got the shaft from his parents and was forced to quit college to raise his siblings. So much artistic talent lost there, I'd just love to find out what happened to him. Oh, and I'd kill to get a painting back from another dude but chances are, it sat by a curb years and years ago. *sigh*
bokumbop: No no, not odd to be any age and single... but SB is on a dating path of destruction. And I've been totally sucked in.
(I know, I've reached new lows. I'm blaming it on summer lulls.)
And it's not sickeningly sweet that you married your first bf! If you know it's right, then yep -- it's just sweet. :)
Kim: That is so sad about your ex (forced to quit college)... seriously, don't you just want to find out what happened to these people in your past? I am so close to sending out some emails...
The premise of that show sounds like the book High Fidelity.
Wow, I can't believe that your husband's ex is a sexpert. That would suck.
I haven't stayed in touch with my exes at all. I do google them occasionally, however.
Umm...who's Scott Baio? Really. In terms of exes though, I'd like to find out what happened to one of my ex fiances. Some days I hope he's dead, other days I don't care, and yet other days I wonder if he's happy and married like me and that maybe just maybe he'd tell me why he cheated. Other exes weren't so bad, but I wonder about that one.
Carol, my J's never had any exes either, not really anyone. I think it's sweet too.
PS My exes would probably all answer "You were f’ing CRAZY" too. Even I think I was f'ing crazy.
most of my ex's will probably call me picky or as one guy put it "fickle." it's true. i get bored really fast. ben passed the test, though. i'm glad. :)
Oh god, I think what my exes would say may be a whole post of my own. Depends on whether I was the dumper or dumpee. Exes I dumped would say I have no patience, got bored easily, looking for Mr. Perfect, yada yada. Ones who dumped me - some would say we were mutually bored with each other... I have one who would actually say he didn't know what he had TWICE (yep, dumped me once, begged me to take him back, and then dumped me again - in front of his band - then attempted to hook up again behind his now-wife-then-girlfriend's back, saying if he ever got married, he'd only marry me... yeah, what am I, a punching bag?) and another one (total psycho) would tearfully regret abusing me, cheating on me, lying to me, stalking me but yet would love to repeat that sick cycle for the 6th or 7th time. Hm. An ex on whom a movie will be based... would you be one of the "characters" featured?? You know I'm going to have my eyes peeled for that one!
Oh, and Scott Baio??? Scott Baio??? Okay, I guess I didn't grow up in the U.S. to have even any nostalgic affection for the guy... again, Scott Baio? (I'm not judging... no, really. You know I totally am not... hell, I think I still have a crush of MacGyver - more the character than the actor, though.)
...crush "on"... sheesh, it's hard trying to catch up on commenting by super fast typing.
Lien and MN -- so glad you have found guys who won't do that shit to you anymore!
Let me make clear: never did I have a crush on Scott Baio. Oh no no no. I had some bad crushes, but not Chachi. Like Kim said, it's fun to watch this train wreck. But no no no... never Chachi. (I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.)
Oh and... nope, I am not a character, THANKFULLY! We dated in high school and it doesn't come into play. (If you come to Chicago and plow me with enough drinks, I'm sure I'll spill all. I'm easy like that.)
Have not caught the Scott Baio show, though I've read enough on gossip blogs that I feel like I have. Did you know he is not really single--either is expecting or just had a baby with his LTGF, an ex-Playboy bunny. Typical.
I'd say, on the ex front, it's a mixed bag. Some I wouldn't want to find, some I wouldn't want to find me. But here's an annoying twist of fate:
The huz, your brother, was fraternity brothers with my first ex. As in, I lost my "flower" to the dude. I thought he was out of my life, and good riddance, until I started dating the Huz and suddenly he was back with a vengeance. He was invited to our wedding reception, and showed up. Color me awkward! We see him socially on rare occasion, and he's even been to our house for dinner. Which gives me pause, as I sit at the dinner table and think, "well...here I am, having dinner, with the first person I slept with and the last. Irony? I'll say so."
a s*xpert huh? that sux.
scott baio? NOBODY had a crush on him?? come on. you can admit it. when I was a young lass, I was totally into him.
not that you could pay me any amount of money to do him today...and I haven't seen the show so maybe that will level out the embarrassment of having had a crush on him once upon a time.
exes. weird timing, my mister is obsessing about one of my exes who was on tv the other night playing soccer in game from the early 70's. long story. oy
I confess: I loved "Charles In Charge." I loved the episode of "Scrubs" where the barber shop quartet headed up by the lawyer dude sings the theme song.b
Lien - you don't know Scott Baio?? Wait, actually that's probably a good thing :-D .
So weird that you blogged about this now. Two of my exes contacted me within the last 6 months which then set off a chain reaction of me trying to find the others (the ones I liked, that is). I'd like to find one in particular but his name is way too generic for googling.
Funny how the exes are all more attractive when I'm married. Hehe.
Scott Baio! Hilarious, I didn't care for Chachi much either, haven't seen his show, but sounds like some good time killing train wreck viewing...I'm usually disturbed when I see grown up childstars with wrinkles looking just, well, scary and older. On ex's...a few that I'd still talk to, a couple I'd love to forget, and one that was just too sick in the head, wacko abuser man, but he was hot back in the day...I believe I heard he's a big huge failure now so karma does come back and get you when you do bad deeds.
Funny post, thanks!
When I say failure, I mean, his first wife left him for another woman, took the kids and he's a deadbeat dad, then married a rich girl, daddy pays their bills, he's had a couple more kids and still strays and abuses his meal ticket bride...just a sad loser I guess.
My ex-boyfriends are pretty boring. I have no idea what they would say about me.
I do have an ex-husband though. Did I ever mention this? Yeah. 7 years and no kids. No wonder I thought I couldn't get pregnant! It's like our genes just weren't meant to collide. We're still friends, though, and I'm even friends w/ his new wife. All he'd have to say about me is probably along the lines of how I suck at keeping house.
hmmmm, ex's huh? it's so funny that this just came up in real life the other day (kind of):
i got this random myspace message from my first kiss (valentine's day, fourth grade, behind the gym after jason gave me a tiny box of russell stover's chocolates in a heart-shaped box - the one with the foil rose stamped on it).
okay ex's:
ex huband - would say ALL sorts of evil nasty things (but then again i'm not now married to the person i was cheating with . . . )
ex BF/fiance - now happily married with a little boy. i'm soooo happy for him. we email like once every 2 years. if asked, would say i'm f'ckin' crazy - and easily bored.
ex BF/soul mate - reconnected a couple years ago after a 10 gap. had a short affair (he's married, i had just gotten divorced). when his wife found out, he asked what he should do. i told him "go back to her and fight for her. and spend the rest of your life making this up to her." part of that meant never talking to me again. (like a psycho, i occassionally google him - he's very respected in his field) if asked - he'd say i am a "free spirit" and a little more than clinically crazy but passionate and intense in my love
ex BF/love of my life - this is still so new it still stings a little. he says he still loves me (and i love him) - timings all wrong. if asked, he'd say - she's intense and crazy, but it's what makes her ANGIE.
wow, this was a long comment. sorry.
btw, fingkasil- i LMAO when i read your comment!
Haven't seen the show and am not sure what my ex's would say about me, except for the "ex ex" and you know how nutty she is...she would make the same comments about her current husband. On a side note, I've seen the s*xpert on multiple shows and her website...she scares me...I'm really glad G ended up with you instead of her. You may be f'ing crazy, but you're not scary...know the difference?
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